01.Adobe - Came from name of the river Adobe Creek that ran behind the house of founder John Warnock.
02.Apache - It got its name because its founders got started by applying patches to code written for NCSA httpd daemon. The result was A PAtCHy server thus, the name Apache.
03.Apple Computers - Steve Jobs was three months late in filing a name for the business because he didnt get any better name for his new company. So one day he told to the staff: If I'll not get better name by 5'o clock today, our companies name will be anything he likes So at 5'o clock nobody come up with better name, and he was eating Apple that time¦ so he keep the name of the company Apple Computers.
04.CISCO - Its not an acronym but the short for San Francisco.
05.Google - The name started as a jokey boast about the amount of information the search-engine would be able to search. It was originally named Googol, a word for the number represented by 1 followed by 100 zeros. After founders Stanford grad students Sergey Brin and Larry Page resented their project to an angel investor, they received a cheque made out to Google
06.Hotmail - Founder Jack Smith got the idea of accessing e-mail via the web from a computer anywhere in the world. When Sabeer Bhatia came up with the business plan for the mail service, he tried all kinds of names ending in mail and finally settled for hotmail as it included the letters html the programming language used to write web pages. It was initially referred to as HoTMaiL with selective upper casing.
07.Hewlett-Packard (HP) - Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett, and the winner was NOT Bill the winner was Dave.
08.Intel- Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company Moore Noyce but that was already trademarked by a hotel chain, so they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics = INTEL
09.Lotus (Notes) - Mitch Kapor got the name for his company from The Lotus Position or Padmasana. Kapor used to be a teacher of Transcendental Meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
10.Microsoft - Coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to MICROcomputer SOFTware. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the was removed later on.
11.Motorola - Founder Paul Galvin came up with this name when his company started manufacturing radios for cars. The popular radio company at the time was called Victrola.
12.ORACLE - Larry Ellison and Bob Oats were working on a consulting project for the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency). The code name for the project was called Oracle (the CIA saw this as the system to give answers to all questions or something such). Acronym for: One Real A****** Called Larry Ellison??
13.Red Hat - Company founder Marc Ewing was given the Cornell lacrosse team cap (with red and white stripes) while at college by his grandfather. He lost it and had to search for it desperately. The manual of the beta version of Red Hat Linux had an appeal to readers to return his Red Hat if found by anyone!
14.SAP - Systems, Applications, Products in Data Processing, formed by 4 ex-IBM employees who used to work in the Systems/Applications/Projects group of IBM.
15.Sony - From the Latin word sonus meaning sound, and sonny a slang used by Americans to refer to a bright youngster.
16.SUN - Founded by 4 Stanford University buddies, SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network.
17.Xerox - The inventor, Chestor Carlson, named his product trying to say dry (as it was dry copying, markedly different from the then prevailing wet copying). The Greek root `xer' means dry.
18.Yahoo!- The word was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book Gulliver Travels. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and action and is barely human. Yahoo! founders Jerry Yang and David Filo selected the name because they considered themselves yahoos.
Monday, November 24, 2008
26 Commandments for personal interviews
You have fared well in the written test and the group discussion.You are just a step away from admission to your dream programme the personal interview.A panel of management experts, a battery of questions. Are you perspiring already? Well, a personal interview could actually be challenging and fun if you just relax and remain focused. Think of it as a conversation between the interview panel and yourself, so enjoy it thoroughly. To begin with, there are four main focus areas in any personal interview:
~Personal details
~Academic details
~Your background
~Current affairs
Commandments for every personal interview:
Even after months of preparation, some candidates do not perform well inside the interview room.The trick is to follow the below commandments practice them during mock interview sessions diligently. You are sure to crack the personal interview.
01.Whenever the interviewer asks any questions, listen carefully. Do not interrupt him midway. Ask for a clarification if the question is not clear. Wait a second or two before you answer. And don't dive into the answer!
02.Speak clearly. Don't speak very slowly. Be loud enough so that the interviewers don't have to strain their ears. www.chetanasinterview.com
03.Brevity is the hallmark of a good communicator. An over-talkative or verbose person is disliked and misjudged instantly, so keep it short.
04. If you don't know an answer, be honest. The interviewer will respect your integrity and honesty. Never exaggerate.
05. Never boast about your achievements. Don't be overconfident -- it is often misinterpreted by interviewers for arrogance. www.chetanasinterview.com
06. Don't get into an argument with the interviewer on any topic. Restrain yourself, please!
07. Remember your manners. Project an air of humility and be polite.
08. Project enthusiasm. The interviewer usually pays more attention if you display enthusiasm in whatever you say.
09. Maintain a cheerful disposition throughout the interview, because a pleasant countenance holds the interviewers' interest.
10. Maintain perfect eye contact with all panel members; make sure you address them all. This shows your self-confidence and honesty.
11. Avoid using slang. It may not be understood and will certainly not be appreciated. www.chetanasinterview.com
12. Avoid frequent use of words and phrases like, 'I mean'; 'You know'; 'I know'; 'Well'; 'As such'; 'Fine'; 'Basically', etc.
13. When questions are asked in English, reply in English only. Do not use Hindi or any other languages. Avoid using Hindi words like matlab, ki, maine, etc.
14. Feel free to ask questions if necessary. It is quite in order and much appreciated by interviewers. www.chetanasinterview.com
15. Last but not the least, be natural. Many interviewees adopt a stance that is not their natural self. Interviewers find it amusing when a candidate launches into a new accent that s/he cannot sustain consistently through the interview or adopts a mannerism that is inconsistent with their own personality.It is best to talk naturally. You come across as genuine.
Mind your body language:
01.Do not keep shifting your position.
02.Your posture during the interview adds to or diminishes your personality. Be a little conscious of your posture and gestures. They convey a lot about your personality.
03.Sit straight. Keep your body still. You may, of course, use your hand gestures freely.
04.Avoid these mannerisms at all costs:
~Playing with your tie
~Theatrical gestures
~Shaking legs
~Sitting with your arms slung over the back of the adjoining chair
Post interview etiquette:
01.Make sure you thank the interviewers as a mark of respect for the time they have spared for you.
02.As you rise and are about to leave, make sure you collect up your pen/ pencil/ all other stationery.
03.After getting up, place your chair in its original position.
The last word:
01.Some institutes (like the Faculty of Management Studies) ask you to deliver an extempore speech suddenly while the interview is going on. Be mentally prepared for the same.
02.Competition will be very tough. Every mistake you commit will turn into an advantage for the other candidates. Hence, be very particular about your preparation. Do not leave anything to chance or the last minute.
03.Remember you have to sell yourself in an interview.
04.Be very particular about what you write in your resume. Check and re-check your resume for facts, spelling errors, etc. Ensure that there are no grammatical errors in the descriptive type questions in the sheet. Use these hints, and say goodbye to your interview phobia!
Info:kuhandoss
courtesy: Article Contributed By: S.K.Chaitanya
~Personal details
~Academic details
~Your background
~Current affairs
Commandments for every personal interview:
Even after months of preparation, some candidates do not perform well inside the interview room.The trick is to follow the below commandments practice them during mock interview sessions diligently. You are sure to crack the personal interview.
01.Whenever the interviewer asks any questions, listen carefully. Do not interrupt him midway. Ask for a clarification if the question is not clear. Wait a second or two before you answer. And don't dive into the answer!
02.Speak clearly. Don't speak very slowly. Be loud enough so that the interviewers don't have to strain their ears. www.chetanasinterview.com
03.Brevity is the hallmark of a good communicator. An over-talkative or verbose person is disliked and misjudged instantly, so keep it short.
04. If you don't know an answer, be honest. The interviewer will respect your integrity and honesty. Never exaggerate.
05. Never boast about your achievements. Don't be overconfident -- it is often misinterpreted by interviewers for arrogance. www.chetanasinterview.com
06. Don't get into an argument with the interviewer on any topic. Restrain yourself, please!
07. Remember your manners. Project an air of humility and be polite.
08. Project enthusiasm. The interviewer usually pays more attention if you display enthusiasm in whatever you say.
09. Maintain a cheerful disposition throughout the interview, because a pleasant countenance holds the interviewers' interest.
10. Maintain perfect eye contact with all panel members; make sure you address them all. This shows your self-confidence and honesty.
11. Avoid using slang. It may not be understood and will certainly not be appreciated. www.chetanasinterview.com
12. Avoid frequent use of words and phrases like, 'I mean'; 'You know'; 'I know'; 'Well'; 'As such'; 'Fine'; 'Basically', etc.
13. When questions are asked in English, reply in English only. Do not use Hindi or any other languages. Avoid using Hindi words like matlab, ki, maine, etc.
14. Feel free to ask questions if necessary. It is quite in order and much appreciated by interviewers. www.chetanasinterview.com
15. Last but not the least, be natural. Many interviewees adopt a stance that is not their natural self. Interviewers find it amusing when a candidate launches into a new accent that s/he cannot sustain consistently through the interview or adopts a mannerism that is inconsistent with their own personality.It is best to talk naturally. You come across as genuine.
Mind your body language:
01.Do not keep shifting your position.
02.Your posture during the interview adds to or diminishes your personality. Be a little conscious of your posture and gestures. They convey a lot about your personality.
03.Sit straight. Keep your body still. You may, of course, use your hand gestures freely.
04.Avoid these mannerisms at all costs:
~Playing with your tie
~Theatrical gestures
~Shaking legs
~Sitting with your arms slung over the back of the adjoining chair
Post interview etiquette:
01.Make sure you thank the interviewers as a mark of respect for the time they have spared for you.
02.As you rise and are about to leave, make sure you collect up your pen/ pencil/ all other stationery.
03.After getting up, place your chair in its original position.
The last word:
01.Some institutes (like the Faculty of Management Studies) ask you to deliver an extempore speech suddenly while the interview is going on. Be mentally prepared for the same.
02.Competition will be very tough. Every mistake you commit will turn into an advantage for the other candidates. Hence, be very particular about your preparation. Do not leave anything to chance or the last minute.
03.Remember you have to sell yourself in an interview.
04.Be very particular about what you write in your resume. Check and re-check your resume for facts, spelling errors, etc. Ensure that there are no grammatical errors in the descriptive type questions in the sheet. Use these hints, and say goodbye to your interview phobia!
Info:kuhandoss
courtesy: Article Contributed By: S.K.Chaitanya
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Business Jokes Collection
01.Bosses versus workers
When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing. When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating. When I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.
02.The work qualification test
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said. Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job" Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed." Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."
03.How to look busy
Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you've created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of "business," there's no telling how far you'll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances. Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey. Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria. Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, "Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!" Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, "Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining... Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!" Appearance: You are at your computer writing a serious business memorandum to your department supervisior. Reality: You are at your computer telling dead-baby jokes to your e-mail correspondent in Namibia. Appearance: You are urgently plugging numbers into a complicated spreadsheet. Reality: You are playing Tetris. Appearance: You are tapping away on calculator keys, helping out the accounting department. Reality: You are paying your electric bill. Appearance: You are reading the DOS manual. Reality: You are reading the TV guide you placed in the DOS manual. Appearance: You are staring at an empty computer screen, absorbed in deep thought. Reality: You have pressed "Escape" just in time, erasing a MacDraw portrait entitled "Supervisor with Pitchfork Wound Clinging to a Cliff"
04.The accident report
Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me... I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope.
05.The boss tells some jokes
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
06.Stop being late to work
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, " The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, " But where were you yesterday?"
07.Lawyers arrive in Japan
Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent. Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York! The decline has begun. Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed. But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in Japan. If anything can slow the Japanese economy, it's the presence of American attorneys. What better way to even our balance of trade than to send Japan our costliest surplus commodity?
08.The results of a government study
For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment. They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population. Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.
09.The corporate boat race
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
10.Captain and passengers
During a tedious, cross-country, red-eye flight, the Captain came on the intercom and methodically gave his passenger briefing, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We will be cruising at 35,000 feet, blah, blah..." After completing his statement, the over-worked Captain forgot to disconnect his mike, and the next thing the passengers heard was, "You know, I sure could go for a cup of coffee and a blowjob right about now..." Upon hearing this, the stewardess at the front of the plane immediately turned and ran to the cockpit to inform the Captain of his miscue. While scurrying past the first class section, a passenger raised his hand and was heard to say, "Don't forget the coffee!!!"
When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing. When my boss pleases his boss, that's co-operating. When I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.
02.The work qualification test
Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said. Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job" Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed." Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."
03.How to look busy
Generally, this will not be a concern until you are promoted to an executive position. But once you've created the illusion that you serve even the slightest purpose at your place of "business," there's no telling how far you'll go. In the real working world, productivity is all a matter of appearances. Appearance: You are furiously taking notes while conducting an important telephone marketing survey. Reality: You are pretending to take notes while talking to your friend who has called collect from Bulgaria. Appearance: You are on the phone with a client in New York and you have said, "Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!" Reality: You are on the phone with a friend in Guam and you have said, "Yeah, this job is terrible, and my boss is such a pushy whining... Yes sirree! That stock is about to shoot through the roof, now's a great time to buy, I tell ya!" Appearance: You are at your computer writing a serious business memorandum to your department supervisior. Reality: You are at your computer telling dead-baby jokes to your e-mail correspondent in Namibia. Appearance: You are urgently plugging numbers into a complicated spreadsheet. Reality: You are playing Tetris. Appearance: You are tapping away on calculator keys, helping out the accounting department. Reality: You are paying your electric bill. Appearance: You are reading the DOS manual. Reality: You are reading the TV guide you placed in the DOS manual. Appearance: You are staring at an empty computer screen, absorbed in deep thought. Reality: You have pressed "Escape" just in time, erasing a MacDraw portrait entitled "Supervisor with Pitchfork Wound Clinging to a Cliff"
04.The accident report
Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me... I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope.
05.The boss tells some jokes
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
06.Stop being late to work
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, " The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, " But where were you yesterday?"
07.Lawyers arrive in Japan
Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent. Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York! The decline has begun. Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed. But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in Japan. If anything can slow the Japanese economy, it's the presence of American attorneys. What better way to even our balance of trade than to send Japan our costliest surplus commodity?
08.The results of a government study
For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment. They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population. Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.
09.The corporate boat race
An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it. The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
10.Captain and passengers
During a tedious, cross-country, red-eye flight, the Captain came on the intercom and methodically gave his passenger briefing, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We will be cruising at 35,000 feet, blah, blah..." After completing his statement, the over-worked Captain forgot to disconnect his mike, and the next thing the passengers heard was, "You know, I sure could go for a cup of coffee and a blowjob right about now..." Upon hearing this, the stewardess at the front of the plane immediately turned and ran to the cockpit to inform the Captain of his miscue. While scurrying past the first class section, a passenger raised his hand and was heard to say, "Don't forget the coffee!!!"
Sardar Jokes Collection
01.Sardar jokes-Nobel prize
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
02.Sardar jokes-Suger level
Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.
03.Sardar jokes-Engine failure
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”
04.Sardar jokes-Puzzle
Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!
05.Sardar jokes-Going home early
Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”
06.Sardar jokes-Hanging for life
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.
07.Sardar jokes - Weight loss
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.
08.Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven
Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word”
09.Sardar jokes
Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”
10.Sardar jokes-Who dunnit
The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.
11.Sardar jokes
Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!
12.Sardar jokes
Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY
13.Santa banta sardar jokes
Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!
14.Short sardar jokes
Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.
15.April fool
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Blonde Jokes Collection
01.Interblonde
What's the difference between a blonde and the internet? Not everyone's been on the internet!
02. Bad Day Blondie
How do you know a blonde's having a bad day? Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
03.Blonde Safe Sex
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex? Locking the car door.
04.Hooker In Training
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy and tell him it'll be a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner." She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars."
05.Blonde in a Car
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.
06.Blonde Half-Wit
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted
07.Blonde Puzzle
Question: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? Answer: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
08.Blonderrific Hair!
Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!
09.Not Going To Try This Again
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
10.Blonde in Your Fridge
Question: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge?
Answer: There is lipstick on the cucumber
11.Death Row in Women's Prison
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…" Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…" Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…" And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
12.Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Question: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on? Answer: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
13.Tank Girl
How do you stop a blonde tank? Shoot the people pushing it!
14.Blonde Driving
Question:Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
Answer:Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people
15.Blonde...Foreplay
What do blondes do for foreplay ? Remove their underwear
16.Blonde Driving
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
17.Blonde License
Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license back? Because she got an ''F'' in Sex.
18.Blonde - Elmo Factory
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
19.Deer Tracks
Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!" The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!" The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!" They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them
20. Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
21.Blonde and Dictionary
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.
22. Le Parfumerie y le Blonde
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
23.Blonde in a boat
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!â€
24.Blonde Pooltable
A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls.
25.Le Parfumerie y le Blonde
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
26 Blonde in a boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!â€
27.Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
28.Blonde and Dictionary
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.
29.Blonde Pooltable
A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls.
30.Blonde in a boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!â€
What's the difference between a blonde and the internet? Not everyone's been on the internet!
02. Bad Day Blondie
How do you know a blonde's having a bad day? Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
03.Blonde Safe Sex
What is a blonde's idea of safe sex? Locking the car door.
04.Hooker In Training
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy and tell him it'll be a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner." She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars."
05.Blonde in a Car
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ''I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?'' ''Why sure,'' said the manager, ''we have something that works especially well for that.'' A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ''No, no! A little to the left,'' said the other blonde inside the car.
06.Blonde Half-Wit
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted
07.Blonde Puzzle
Question: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? Answer: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
08.Blonderrific Hair!
Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!
09.Not Going To Try This Again
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
10.Blonde in Your Fridge
Question: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge?
Answer: There is lipstick on the cucumber
11.Death Row in Women's Prison
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…" Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes. The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…" Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes. By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…" And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
12.Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Question: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on? Answer: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
13.Tank Girl
How do you stop a blonde tank? Shoot the people pushing it!
14.Blonde Driving
Question:Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
Answer:Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people
15.Blonde...Foreplay
What do blondes do for foreplay ? Remove their underwear
16.Blonde Driving
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
17.Blonde License
Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license back? Because she got an ''F'' in Sex.
18.Blonde - Elmo Factory
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
19.Deer Tracks
Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!" The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!" The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!" They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them
20. Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
21.Blonde and Dictionary
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.
22. Le Parfumerie y le Blonde
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
23.Blonde in a boat
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!â€
24.Blonde Pooltable
A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls.
25.Le Parfumerie y le Blonde
One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
26 Blonde in a boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!â€
27.Three Girls Go Camping
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
28.Blonde and Dictionary
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick.
29.Blonde Pooltable
A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls.
30.Blonde in a boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!â€
